.::Close Encounter::.

hey, look...imagine this...you're on a overhead bridge...then just like that, a row of 7 cars met with an accident...first car went flying ahead, second car's back bumper was damaged, the third one had lights gone out, fourth got it's bumper damaged, fifth's back bumper was damaged, the sixth...superior damage...front bumper, back bumper, lights and the oil tank burst...the seventh was a truck, with it's front bumper damaged...and guess what...my friend and i were just above the whole incident...3 metres above to be exact...damn...i was going like..."shiiiiitttt...did that just happened"...damn...i got nothing else to account on except that school was boring and this interesting story...well...gtg...

GORE.8:58 PM

.::Memories::.

...still remember the day i met apro...haha...funny time though...it was during our live band meeting...we went in and this guy with an afro came to me and said (in malay of course):
"you're natasha azura's cousin right?"
...and i went:
"huh?"
...sooner or later i went:
"umm...yeah"
...when all the first years of the live band already settled down, someone asked me:
"hey, you now him?"
...guess what i said...i quickly said
"nope"
...haha! tt's was one funny moment...haha...soon after got to know more of him and we quickly became best of friends...a great competitor and advisor in terms of music...yo, bro...if somehow you're reading this...thanks for being my friend, dude...

again, my friends...another song from me...

DEJA VU
Here we are again, in the same place as before,
The same things we said when we met before,
The same conclusion in the end like before,
A similar path taken back like before,
Have you ever felt a sense of deja vu,
When we all think of the past,
And we see that time has gone by so fast,
It seems that deja vu,
Has confused our minds,
It seems that god have something else planned for our crimes,
We think that the problem is solved but it comes back the same,
We think that we played the song but we'll play it again,
The same way, no changes in the lyrics,
Listening to the same things,
It'll soon make me hysteric,
Soon enough I'll be really sick,
Here we are again saying what we thought was true,
Nothing would change our passion for this, we'll be loose,
Protect our pride by repeating our words,
Annoyance in the eyes of others when we go overboard,
But deja vu has it's good points
,When it help us remember the happy times...

GORE.10:11 PM

.::Talking About The Old Times Again::.

haha...the evening was great...got to meet apro, sha and zid...it was cool...we talked about the happy times again...laughing our asses off...when zid had to go; apro, sha and i proceeded to the esplanade...seeing how many times we've been there, it's like we always go there to talk about our past, our present, our troubles and our future...again, we voiced out about the bad and the good...the happy and the sad...i felt calm there hearing the sounds of the waves crashing and looking up at the night sky...it'd be better if it was a night sky with a full moon...we talked in a loud voice...haha...and we didn't care who was listening in to our conversation...'cause one of the subjects we talked about was the music industry and those who have that thinking of only one concept...you know, like those who believe they should ONLY play punkrock or ska...not other types of music...as we said...as true musicians, there's no limit to what you can play...punkrock, ska, metal, slow rock...whatever...the sky's the limit...yes, people have their favourites...but please...show more respect to other genres...what i like to say..."DEATH TO TRENDS"...be yourself...if you have the skills, show it in other genres than only one...

one more thing: to that one person i loathe most...
you know who you are...if somehow you found my blog...i have the feeling that you have been cursing me behind my back...i hate the very sight of you and the sound of your voice and the things that you have done and will do in the future...maybe hate is too weak of a word to use...LOATHE is a better word...if you don't know the definition or meaning, look it up in a dictionary! i want to say...the songs you maybe listening to now or the very songs you maybe playing on your guitar now...we showed them to you...DON'T TAKE IT IN YOUR OWN HANDS CAUSE YOU DID NOT DISCOVER IT! it would be better if you stopped listening to those songs and give back to us...DELETE everything that have to do with us...and i want to tell those people who have taken our music away from his hands...give it back to us too...cause we didn't give you the damned permission to take it...think about it...it's fair to all...after what you've done to us...i'm not okay...i'm more raged than before...

THE CLAIRVOYANT DISEASE IS INSIDE ME...

GORE.11:54 PM

.::The Irrevocable Past::.

i don't think i can forget about my past...no one can...i don't regret anything about my past...never will i say i regretted it...everything i did was my own decision...the decision to make friends...the decision to make enemies...even now i decided to make a few more people my enemies...well, i can say that my enemies make out 70 percent of those i know...

why, you say, i made this decision to make lots of enemies...? well...i'm a person who trusts someone easily...and that's one thing that lets me make friends easily...but as soon as that one person turns on my trust...i have to make him/her an enemy...no matter what...it's like one after another they come...and endless line of enemies...

CLAIRVOYANT DISEASE
Dust begins to fall, to the ground
The air is cold and thin
Thoughts are haunting me as I look around
This will never end and I'll bleed forever
Don't acknowledge right, just dwell on wrong
This spot in hell's where I belong
I've come so far- it's been so long
Don't know why it started or where it came from
Outside shell is strong- confident
But slowly eats away
Like a man plagued with disease, I try to fight
through my pores it seems to seep...
when I'll bleed forever
Don't acknowledge right, just dwell on wrong
This spot in hell's where I belong
I've come so far- it's been so long
Don't know why it started or where it came from
And you sit there and do nothing
You're content with doing nothing
There's nowhere to run and hide
when you're living to die
Stuck alone inside your head,
better off dead
The phone would ring in the empty house,
no one's around.
But in my life, I wanted more, I needed more
I taste more...

GORE.7:49 PM

.::Burial::.

having being hurt and betrayed...i guess no one will get a thank you from the person who did it to the group of friends...DIG DEEP INTO IT AND YOU'LL BE STUCK IN THE MUD AND SUFFOCATE...this implies to both parties...the betrayed and the betrayer...we showed him what we know...we shared all our favourites with him...we gave him the gift of great music artists...and what do we get...? shame, betrayal and rage shoved in the face...not even a thank you...i don't even like to talk about it much...but i have to...that's why i kept all of it to myself...until sickness came to me...until sickness came to us...the ones with the fated bond...a-proman (sudarman), sha (my cuzzin), yazid and me...seems there will be a burial among us soon...one of us would get sick so damn much that we'll forget about everything near and dear to us...sometimes i feel like a demon inside...with all the rage building...but at the same time i have the emotions of a human...the yearning to be cared and loved...

i got this from a source...it's struck something in me...just don't know what...
let's use my japanese nick and one of my favourite guitarist's name for this act...

Sugizo: "He says you and I are like the night sky and the moon..."
Hide: "So...we are bound by the dark?"
Sugizo: "Exactly..."
Hide: *smirking* "One question: If you are the moon and I'm the night...will the light be drawn to your radiance or be lured into my darkness...?"
Sugizo: *smiles*

so there...it struck something in me...maybe...i am hide: the eternal dark angel...that's what i do best...lure people to the darkness...also got a poem...

How we yearn for darkness to enshroud us,
To be blinded by the night,
But the moon exposes our open wounds,
And make us fear the light...

darkness and all that it surrounds...seems like i'm in the middle...and i hate when the light is in my eyes...although how beautiful it makes one become and how the sun's set makes a perfect show outdoors...i prefer the night...

HERE'S SOME NEWS FOR X-JAPAN FANS...(i know Ronin-chan will be interested in this)
Yoshiki, leader of great X-Japan...has set and official release date for a dvd and a cd...here are the details about them...

Yoshiki Symphonic Melody 2002 with Tokyo City Phillharmonic Orchestra
by Yoshiki/Violet UK
Format: DVD
Release Date: 2005.03.30
Price: Yen 4,515
Tracks:
1) Say Anything
2) Amethyst
3) The Last Song
4) 7th
5) Forever Love
6) Longing ~togireta melody
7) Amethyst w/ Vocal and Piano
8) Seize The Light
9) I'll Be Your Love
10) Screaming Blue
11) Blind Dance
12) Anniversary
13) Endless Rain
14) Tears

Eternal Melody II
by Yoshiki
Format: CD (2 discs)
Release Date: 2005.03.23
Price: Yen 3,500
Tracks:
CD One
1) Unnamed Song
2) Seize The Light
3) Without You
4) Longing
5) I'll Be Your Love
6) (unknown)
7) Red Christmas
8) (unknown)
9) Forever Love
CD Two
1) Anniversary

a must get for X-Japan fans! i'm still wondering how i'm going to get it though...

GORE.7:03 PM

.::Free My Misery::.

know what? your past never leaves you...

COS IT SURE DIDN'T LEAVE ME...

sucks...remembering about my past really made me flare up now and then...hah...still burning inside me is the current hatred of the past months and now the hatred of the last few years...of course there are memories of happiness but...it's not coming out now...only when i'm having fun like jamming or something...aye...here's another song i wrote...

FREE MY MISERY
An eternal bleeding heart,
The fallen tears,
In the silence of the eclipse,
Emotions of the broken soul,
Sent to ablaze in a world of grief,
As clairvoyant as the lonliness in the mind,
The distorted vision in the dreams of one,
The feeling of endless rain on the skin,
Gone in the frozen sands of time,
Degradation of pride seen in the eyes,
The unbearable weight on the chest,
Breathless in the night's dust

Free my misery,
Show me the reality,
That is better than the dreams,
The scars of the past,
Unwritten in the melody,
No one knows how I feel

As dust fall to the ground,
The heart slowly stops,
No man can take this circle of misery,
The circle of death,
Judgment is not in the fear of one,
But the things that it makes one do,
The fire of hatred engulfing the soul,
Repent and thou shall be saved...

so there...anyone...? please free my misery...

GORE.6:32 PM

.::The Rise Of Heavy Metal Inside Me::.

yes...you all might know me from old school slow rock to punk rock...i now consider myself as a universal/fusion concept...one who listens to all kinds of music...but...lately...HEAVY METAL is what i listen to most of the time...

i dunno...just the feeling of anger, hate, frustration and annoyance inside of me...of course the feeling of being desecrated...no matter what it is...just heavy metal is all that can make me calm right now...however noisy it is...

also thanks to shazarul, i've got to know some more of those power metal bands...

haiz...and school...worse...being in the same place with some annoyance multiple times and meeting the same teacher...is like...damn...BORING...i may be going: "AAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!"...deep inside of me...so...people...don't try to annoy me that much...or even try to make me lose my temper...cause i now get easily snapped or blown...

GORE.7:30 PM

.::Desecrated::.

define the word DESECRATED -
1: to violate the sanctity of ;
2: to treat disrespectfully, irreverently, or outrageously...

now that you know this meaning... have you guys ever felt it? I HAVE... the feeling of being desecrated by someone i USED to trust...right...so i don't have to use the upper case letters... i have the feeling that no one would even care if i shout to the sea at the top of my lungs and suffocate because of it... well... this was something i wrote a a few years back... and it apply to me today...

DESECRATED
Have you ever felt so betrayed?
So misled that you wanna pay 'em back but you can't?
It's not something you can do so easily,
It's something that you will regret so regrettably,
No way this is happening right now,
No way I can take this mosh pit right now,
Dreams shattered and destroyed,
Something is missing and it's not filling the void,
I will forget it all,
The radiant eclipse is waiting for my call,
And in it all,
I will be desecrated by my fall,
Don't you get it?
I've always wanted to live a different life,
But no one will let me cos they rather see me curl up and die,
And if you noticed it's always been darker in my eyes,
Since the year where it all happened two-thousand-thrice,
Or was it when all this bullshit started coming in?
I was in the middle and I'm still bleeding,
And why haven't you sensed that you're guilty?
The reason is something you don't have and that's maturity,
Your childish pranks turn me off it makes me scream,
It's so annoying I rather kill you when you dream,
But I can't,My head would explode from that,
I might call you the enemy,
But no one here will understand me,
Cos I'm the bad man,
The one who resides in the dark land,
I'll be desecrated again by the people I care for,
And most of all I love,
No one cares cos I'll be in pieces,
This is for you,
The one who made me all confused,
Yes you, goodbye,
I'm searching for the truth,
Listen to sounds of hysteria,
Building up in this suburbia,
Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide,
They'll come for me soon to take away my pride,
Desecrated,
But I'll be revived again,
With all the hurt and the anger,
Not to mention the pain,
That I've kept it all within,
From my coffin I awake in the darkness surrounding,
I'll be laughing again when I start my killing...

i'd love to say this is not happening now but it is... and if you guys know who you are... you know who's to blame...

GORE.11:58 PM

.::Hari Raya Haji - Sesuatu Hari Yang Tiada Yang Dikorban, Termasuk Aku::.

Hmmmm... friday the 21st... hari raya haji... there's only one word to describe this very day...

BORING!

my family went to the only place where my blood ties come to every hari raya...yes...my grandma's place...first thing i noticed when we got there...the food...food...oh, glorious food...yes...most of the time i was there eating...from 1.30 to 9.00++...i was there staring into space...well, actually no...i was talking to my bash brother (shahirman, i call him 'matt') 'til the time he had to go to work...then i talked to aishah...got to try out my bash bro's sims on his n-gage...one of my favourite games to play on the pc...hah...one by one they came...one by one the left...and in the end my family was the last to go...again...first to come...last to go...it was fun in the end...and the food...tatse buds tingling...

and to my father's side...i didn't get to meet 'em all today...but sure i was thinking of 'em...sha, nasrool, nasreen, yaqin, iman, shafiq...selamat hari raya haji...hope to see y'all soon...

and to my bandmates...aproman (sudarman) and yazid...same to you...selamat hari raya haji to you and your family...see you on monday...during our short break which is never determined...haha...

also to my classmates...SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI...


MORE NEWS! GIGS COMING OUR WAY!
i'm a gig freak so sue me!

MUSIC NATION 2005


Date: 5th February 2005
Where: Republic Poly Annex Hall
Time: 2pm till late
Price: $4 at door (hey! it's cheap!)

Bands Performing: Munchies at 9, Dyna Turmoil, A Vacant Affair, Ceramic Circle, No Direction, Set For Glory, One-Eighty, Hamartia, Ronin, Ars Nova

GORE.10:52 PM

.::Desecrate Through Reverance::.

Hard news, taken harder, don't look to me
Disappointed, we don't agree, I don't need your praise...
(don't look my way for help.
from the beginning you came to me)
Never asked you to like me,
I don't want your praise (we won't play your games)
Look down on me, spit in my face,
you're nothing to me...not to me
Darkened eyes you'll see,
there is no hope, no saviour in me
"don't look this way, don't breathe this way, don't stare this way, anymore)
Learned from years gone by, no one will care,
what happends to me
"don't look this way, don't breathe this way, don't stare this way, anymore)
My presence won't be ignored, no not today
Don't walk in my direction, turn the other way
(don't look my way for help,
from the beginning you came to me)
Asking questions, predetermined answers,
you won't find them here. (we don't want your opinion)
And I don't want you. I won't let you think,
compromise is near, 'Cause it's not near.
Darkened eyes you'll see,
there is no hope, no saviour in me
"don't look this way, don't breathe this way, don't stare this way, anymore)
Learned from years gone by, no one will care,
what happends to me
"don't look this way, don't breathe this way, don't stare this way, anymore)
I'm alone in here
No more feelings
Killed my fears
Don't ask
you'll never know
you're left behind and I'll be exposed
Far away, you keep on trying...
Holding me down, breaking away,
trying to distance my life.
Not one in the crowd, but one with the answer
the one that could change your mind
But it's not true, I don't know you
Don't waste your time, and don't waste mine
I'm not your friend, I won't soothe your soul
And in the end you're all dead to me...

GORE.11:33 PM