*Past Lyrics Part Two: She.

as promised. the next one.

SHE
by Qhai

She grabbed on to me
With her eyes filled with tears
I looked up to see her face filled with agony
I thought
If I should be treated like this
No one would ever miss me
But she thought otherwise
All along she was beside me

The words whisper in my ears but I ignore them

Depression is forever in my state of mind
Betrayed by the hands that held me
But she was there
Always for me
I started to wander into my sorrow
Lost in the entrancing darkness
She still stood there
Waiting for the night of which I loved so much

So this is how it's like to be a loner

I look at the sky everyday for the truth I'm waiting for
But it will never come and will never reveal
A rebel without a cause
I have my own way of doing things
But she was there holding my hand
Guiding me without a word
She was there for me
The power to make me smile out of nothing

Another night passes in my empty life

Back to reality
As I hang on to the edge of the cliff
Her tears drop to my face
My last glimpse of her on my last night
Her grasp loosening in my cold sweaty hands
The words she said that captivated me
"I love you, don't leave me"

I lose my grip and fall to my doom

Defy the rules in the game of life
Death is the easier way out

this piece is another version of the previous piece entitled "THEY". this piece just tells a story about a guy who always thinks about suicide and death, and he thinks that no one is there to support him and love him. what he doesn't realise is that there is a 'she' in his life who's always behind him and pushing him forward. it may be his best friend, or whatever. so it the end this guy dies just as he realises that this girl loves him. too late? yes. written as a message to one of my friends, the subject: look around you before you confirm that no one loves you.

anyway, HELLNIHILATION! coming soon! 4th June! check out the gigboard!

freakinlyMINE, i love you.

insanelyYOURS,
Qhai.

she. nerdy?

GORE.10:21 AM

* Past Lyrics Part One: They.

i don't know if i should show my past lyrics but i've got nothing else to blog about so, i'll post the lyrics and the meaning after that. i'll post one every two days or so. i'm also currently helping my good buddies, Mulysa, reconstruct their site.

to freakinlyMINE, good luck in your malay 'O' Levels. i'll be praying for you. i love you.

THEY
by Qhai

They reached out to me
With their eyes filled with dark desires
I looked up to see their face filled with malice
I thoughtIf I should be treated like this
No one would ever need me
But they wanted otherwise
All along they were out for me

The words circle in my head but I ignore them

Depression is forever in my state of mind
Betrayed by the hands that used to hold me
They were there
Surrounded me
I started to wander into my sorrow
Lost in the entrancing darkness
They stood there over me
Waiting for the night of which I loved so much

So this is how it's like to be a loner

I look at the sky everyday for the truth I'm waiting for
But it will never come and will never reveal
A rebel without a cause
I have my own way of doing things
But they were always in my way
Standing over me without a word
Always using me
The power to make me suffer out of nothing

Another night passes in my empty life

Back to reality
As I hang on to the edge of the cliff
The rain drop to my face
My last glimpse of the world, my last night
My grasp loosening with cold sweaty hands
The words they say burned in hate
I let go of my grip

I fall to my doom

Death may be the easier way out
But there is someone holding me
My one, my only

this song is about a person. and that person is a loner, a rebel and no one knows the real deal about him/her. the people around this particular person takes advantage of him/her, beats him/her up or just leaves him/her to rot alone after doing fucked up things to him/her. and because of this continued assault this person is thinking of suicide and death. this person's subconcious is telling himself/herself to stop this by retaliating but it doesn't work. in the end, did the person die or live? it's up for you to decide, cause this person got someone he/she loves. actually, this is how i felt during my upper secondary years and at the end of my ite year.

ok that's it, i'll post more soon.

freakinlyMINE, i love you.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

they.

GORE.10:53 AM

*I've Seen The DaVinci Code.

yes, i've seen the movie. it's so overwhelming. it's so awesome. it's GREATNESS. The DaVinci Code. i'd give it a 9 over 10. of course, to those who haven't read the book would be confused of the whole story.

watched with a group of seven. Shif, Anisah, her guy, Yasin, Syiqin and Izwan. plus me of course. got off at City Hall, walked to Marina Square and found out that the movie started at 2.10pm. i was enraged. Yahoo! Movies said the time slots are at 2.50pm and 3.00pm. so we took a chance and went straight to Bugis. and looked at the time one at 3.25pm and at 3.55pm. the one at 3.25pm was left with a few seats that are spread out. so we took the one at 3.55pm. seven seat, on the right of the screen, rows C/D/E. hah. at least we got to see the movie.

the movie was great. to see everything that was told in the book, well...almost everything. the Musée du Louvre, or otherwise known at the Louvre, and it's three pyramids. the Meridian Medallion Markers, streching all the way through Paris showing the location of the Rose Line. Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa and Madonna of the Rocks. the Codex/Cryptex. the reverse handwriting. the ten Knight Effigies. Sir Isaac Newton's Tomb. i was wowed by the movie. greatness. haha.

to think of it, all of this shows how the human race is being deceived over and over again. haha.

okay, i'll stop here for now. now i'm using the gigboard for Obscure Phionix's gigs. next, 4th June - Hellnihilation (with guest vocals Zul of Shadows Embrace on the Deceived); 11th June - Punk VS Metal.

freakinylyMINE, i love you.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

overwhelming.

Deceived of all your dreams,
Betrayed by all your leaders,
This shall no place to be,
This a dead-end future...

GORE.12:08 PM

*The Origins Of Obscure Phionix.

sometimes i wonder...do anyone come to my blog anymore? hey, i was surprised when Ary tagged! Ary you rock bro!

ahah. today The DaVinci Code movie is out. i am going to catch that movie no matter what. and when i was thinking of The DaVinci Code, i thought of how the novel inspired Man and i to come up with Obscure Phionix's name.

but, let's backtrack. from where i started out. before the time of Obscure Phionix. the timeline of my journey in muscianship. may be a little sketchy.

Year 2000
secondary one. i joined the Military Band and got interested in the drums. i played the drums whenever i had the chance to. even though it ended up in brutal punishment. why? because the i'm not in the percussion section. i was in the bass section. that would explain how i got interested in drums. to be more exact the drumset. only know of single bass pedal back then. then, my mom bought me an acoustic guitar (thanks mom). that was the start of my practising on the guitar. first song. Stand By Me. haha! would you believe it. i played anytime i could, brought the guitar to school also. and at that time, most of my friends brought guitars to school to "jam". played slow songs. believe it or not, song from; Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, Guns 'N' Roses, Spice Girls, Savage Garden, The Moffats, Joey McIntyre (if i got that right), The Wonders, etc. and further down the year i learned of the drumset's double bass pedal. and more guitar practising down the road. with additions of a new acoustic guitar and my first electric guitar. A TGM Dark Blue Sunburst Classic.

Year 2002
secondary three. my bass section senior and one of my best friends back then, Aiman, asked me if i would be interested in singing for his band, unnamed at first, to compete in my school's Battle Of The Bands. eventually i also played the guitar in the band. Aiman on bass, Zaki (Aiman's best friend) on lead guitar, Ferd (my classmate and close friend) on drums and me singing and playing the rhythm. i jammed in a studio for the first time. that was when i got interested in making a band for myself. for the Battle Of The Bands we named the band WATZ and played The Rock Show by Blink 182. instead of playing guitar as jammed, there was a last minute change and i switched with Aiman and ended up playing the bass and singing instead. the first time i touched a bass. got into it and played more bass. we got second place for the BOTB. and we continued jamming whenever we have the chance to. also, i continued playing my electric and acoustic. later in the year WATZ auditioned for the school's Teacher's Day concert and got a slot playing during the lower secondary. Zaki had to concentrate on his studies and we got Arshad (my classmate and close friend) also known as Gunn to play lead guitars. and we took Liny (Ferd and my close friend) as our second vocals. why? she has a great vocal range. we played Aerosmith's I Don't Want To Miss A Thing. a great song. after that we slacked off jamming. WATZ was a thing of the past. but we still continued being best friends. my musician's motto then was "Live Free Or Die". haha.

Year 2003
not schooling. finished 'O' Levels and waiting to go into ITE. reunited with my father's side cousins (Sha Meow, Yaqin, Iman, Nasrool, Nasrin, Shafiq, Wan and more) during Hari Raya and we met up during my uncle's wedding, i touched-up my guitaring again. i played the guitar and they sang Savage Garden's Truly Madly Deeply for the wedding. then i solo-ed Creed's One Last Breath. oh, i only saw a glimpse of Man of Obscure Phionix then. i didn't know him. yep, i didn't know him.

Year 2004
first year ITE. joined Liveband and believe it or not, i met Man there. haha. so Man and i decided to form a band together. so, with Muhammad, we got the strings for the band. then Yazid (ex-OPX, my best friend) came into the picture. the band then was named Zero Point One. we took in Sha Meow (she was Man's girlfriend and i didn't know then) cause she's always turning up for our jamming but sit down there looking at us. with Sha Meow in the band i tightened my bond with my father's side cousins. we started off playing Oi and Punkrock. at that time i was listening to Heavy Metal and Visual Kei (also known as heavy J-Rock) then Man introduced us to Avenged Sevenfold. started playing Metalcore. with more Metalcore we became an improving band. Sue (my best friend since secondary one) aided us in media stuff. i created band logos and made a website, she helped film us during jamming sessions. at the end of the year something came up and Muhammad was out of the band. that was the end of Zero Point One. we decided not to use that name anymore.

Year 2005
second half of first year ITE. we searched for a bassist up and down. three months of playing without a bassist. i gotten my B.C. Rich Beast Body Art Collection 2003 Boris then. at that time Man and i were reading Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code. then we got Fiz into our band. we took him in cause he learned seven songs in one week. slowly we played heavier songs and improved more. so, since Man and i were so caught up in The DaVinci Code, we combined a few words to make "Phionix". at first it was "Phion". making up of the Golden Numeral Phi and Sion from The Priory Of Sion. then i opted the addition of "Obscure" to the front. but, to have "Obscure" in the front, we had to change "Phion" to "Phionist" as it depicts a person. then i tried to change "Phionist" to "Phionix" adding Phoenix to the addition of Phi and Sion as a Phoenix shows a rekindling of our band. so our band was named "Obscure Phionix". we were stuck to that name and loved it. our first gig was at Singapore Street Festival 2005. we were still new then and we didn't move much. there's a video for proof. we continued gigging in small events like Dover Liveband events. and continued improving. i narrowed down my guitar equipments from Pickboy picks to ESP picks and Ernie Ball strings to DR strings, my choice equipment for my metal journey. near to the end of the year i gotten my Boss ME-50 Multiple Effect Board. and...i became a devout Metalhead. towards to the end, we played at First Step 2005 and met Mulysa there. and we got to play with Mulysa again during Dover Liveband's Mini Gig.

Year 2006
second half of second year ITE. Yazid quit the band due to some arguement of musical disagreement. at that time, when Yazid was out, we almost disbanded right there and then. but i tried to talk them out of it and searched for a new drummer. Man put an ad on Luther Musicworks' site and on Lee Kwong Seng's noticeboard. we auditioned Nicky and Shah. and we chose Shah. and here we are now. gigging almost every two weeks. the feeling is great. i shall never forget everyone that lead me to this day today.

so, that's my musician's timeline. thanks to all organisers. and thanks to all who help Obscure Phionix. quite a read. so until my next nonsensical blabbering. goodbye and take care.

freakinlyMINE, i love you.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

my history.

GORE.9:47 AM

*The Aches Of A Great Performance.

yes, Emolition was great. i headbanged until i got dizzy. haha. crazy ass Qhai doing what he always does. i finally got the circle headbang down. haha. going to have a gig on the 28th at The Substation and on the 4th at I.J. again. Obscure Phionix is really going at it. trying to get gigs all before the three of us (Man, Fiz and me) get into National Service. so by then Obscure Phionix will have to be on hiatus until we completed our NS or at least until we can go home on the weekends. haha. to think that Obscure Phionix is slowly rising through the ashes. frankly, i'm really shy by all the things that's going on around. i'll flush when someone i don't know on the streets or other bands would call up our name. seriously...i didn't think we make it this far. it's incredible. to play alongside bands like Mulysa, Dark Resurrection, Sanity Blur, Ego Stereo, etc. and Shadows Embrace and Rhetorical Theory in this upcoming 4th of June. more incredible. our dreams becoming reality. and maybe soon, i'll take organising into my own hands.

so, let's get off the topic of my band and into freakinlyMINE. tomorrow will be our seventh month together. seven months. i'm happy. i'm really, really happy. she's my one and only. seven months, five more and we'll have reached a year. i love her so. and i will whisper that into her ear whenever i have the chance to.

lastly, i really would like to thanks Ary and Yan and all those from ModusOperandi Productions for putting us in a gig whenever there is a chance to be in it. i'm ultimately grateful. i take a bow for them. this is one thing i wouldn't expect.

i'll stop here. my blabbering in crap. haha.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

miraculous dreams.

Why do your eyes paralyze me?
What makes me feel this way?
Carry me away,
With silence,
And heartbeats as rapid,
And heartbeats as rapid,
Thinking about your embrace,
And how it makes me feel,
I just want to stay this way,
Forever...

GORE.7:22 PM

*It's Mom's Birthday And...hide's Death Anniversary.

yeah. it's my mom's birthday. happy birthday mom. the best mom anyone can ever have.

and it's hide's 8th death anniversary. and i can't help but wonder if hide's museum still stands at his hometown. one of the greatest guitarists of the world. hide, i know your watching down all of the guitarists of the world. i've been an X-Japan fan for all these years. and do i miss them. Yoshiki, Toshi, Pata, hide and Heath. hah.

oh well, Obscure Phionix got an audition today for ScreamoFest. i think. yeah. from 2pm to 8pm. woah. haha. i hear that Dark Resurrection, Mulysa and Shadows Embrace are going to be there too. there's going to be a reunion! and then there's going to be Arse Attack gig on saturday and Emolition gig on sunday. another two-day GigFest. yeah.

until next post.

freakinlyMINE, i love you and i miss you infinitely.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

i'm insanely in love.

Suck me down,
It's time to rock and roll,
Let's hit the bar,
Let's lose control,
One false move,
You took me home,
One false move,
You're all alone...

GORE.9:56 AM