*Reminiscing The Days Of X

here i am. at school. yes, at school. in the company of my own self. minding my own shit. so many fucked shit have happened since school started and i do not like it one bit. true colours shown, real attitude seen and brains dismantled. maybe this is how people are showing the world that they are stupid?

being loyal to this certain clique is impossible. so, i'm going out on my own. those who intend to follow me, i don't mind. i'm my own person with my own goals in life. it's better to have lots of friends and less than ten real friends who you might call brothers and sisters. i'd think some people might agree to this.

to you people who think that the planning for the future is stupid, good for you. you might end up like the hobo at the end of each street. but then, those who plan too much might end up having their brain checked during their autopsy.

and i guessed you've heard of people who judge others just like that. and you'd be surprised how many people are like that in the world. let alone in Singapore.

oh yeah. matrepians and minahrepians still live. to hell with them.

do not get offended by this but some of those Singaporean hip-hoppers who just love to say "my bad" and all those hip-hop slang shit. you're making a fool of yourselves. you've been given good english education and you still can't talk properly. how sad. how sad it is.

for the past few days since the unofficial separation of Obscure Phionix, i've been listening to X-Japan and those few of my favourite visual kei bands. i watched hide's funeral video over and over again. and i felt like crying. hah. is OPX going to end up like them or is this just temporary?

in other music related news, i'm forming a project band and i'm looking for members. anyone interested?

i'm missing Shif badly. hah. i love you Shif.

until the next time.

Freakinly Mine, i love you.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

the dissipation.

I feel it welling up inside and Robert Smith lied,
Boys do cry,
And with blood tears in my eyes,
I'm an Anne Rice novel come to life,
Can't hide the monster anymore,
One can only feel desolate for so long,
Until one starts to change into something,
The mirror doesn't recognize I metamorphosize,
The darkness has been biding its time ,
To claim its latest victim fresh meat for carnal desires,
To become what I became
I viewed the sun for the last time,
Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victims blood?
So crimson and red,
I feel it flowing from your lips,
Crimson and red
My heart is dead and so are you,
And it pulses throug the desire to change,
To deconstruct all of my past failings,
But where to begin because when you live is sin,
Its hard to look at the saints,
Without them reflecting their jet black auras back on you,
And all I have is hope my inner burn's not fading,
I'll wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day,
And all I have is hope and all I need is time,
To bury in pine under six feet of time,
The lies I told me about myself,
Claw my way out,
Pick the splinters from under my fingernails,
I won't lose hope,
I won't give in,
Just live and breathe try not to die again,
Just live and breathe try not to die again,
Just live and breathe try not to die again,
Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victims blood?
So crimson and red,
I feel it flowing from your lips,
Crimson and red...

Aren't you tired of being weak?
Such rage that you could scream,
All the stars right out of the sky,
And destroy the prettiest starry night,
Every evening that I die,
After all these images of pain,
Have cut right through you,
I will kiss every scar,
And weep you are not alone
Then I'll show you that place,
In my chest where my heart,
Still tries to beat,
It still tries to beat...

This weight is so unbearable caving my lungs,
All my life seems to be flashing in front of my eyes,
Run away from all the pain,
All the pain of life,
Run away from all the pain of life,
Ways of devotion turn to obsession open your eyes,
I want you to see what you've done to me crying out those eyes,
Run away from all the pain,
All the pain of life,
Run away from all the pain of life,
Bring my end to an end,
Distance yourself from the pain that covers me,
I reach out for your hand to find there's nothing left for me,
Razors kiss the vein overdose for pain,
A twelve gauge cross kisses the forehead a savior in a shell,
Sever me from the fall,
Fuck the people,
Fuck the world,
Fuck it all,
Open my arms,
Bleed out the flood,
In crimson I begin to drown...

GORE.11:11 AM

*New Additions

new additions to Darker Heaven:

- the "Horns" cursor in site. credits to TriviumWorld.net.
- "HIS VOMIT" now hosts videos. credits to YouTube.com.
- credits to the making of Darker Heaven is under "THE UNDEAD".

enjoy!

Freakinly Mine, i love you and miss you insanely.

insanely yours,
Qhai

this blog is insanity!

GORE.7:29 PM

*Heath Is 38

today, 22nd January, is Heath's a.k.a. Hiroshi Morie's of X-Japan 38th birthday. haha. yeah, i know. i'm an X-Japan freak. what should i do? they're my inspiration to play music. all of them.

went jamming with Rashid's band today. it was ok. but i'm abit off with them. i'm wild and crazy and they're cool and calm. hahaha.

now nothing else going on today. so, i'll just stop here. until there is more things to update.

Freakinly Mine, i love you and i miss you dearly.

insanely yours,
Qhai

inspired.

Kurenai...

GORE.7:38 PM

*New Skin

yes, i'm done with my skin. i've got positive reactions from this. hah. now to start posting again.

i'm bored. she's gone for training at Ubin. and i'm stuck without her to call.

oh yeah, if you've heard, Obscure Phionix has been disbanded unofficially. sad and shocking isn't it?

so, since its a boring day, let's find something to do.

later.

Freakinly Mine, i love you.

insanely yours,
Qhai

forever.

Kau auraku...

GORE.2:36 PM

*New Layout

ok, before i start posting again. tell me what you think of this!

Freakinly Mine,
i love you.

insanely yours,
Qhai

GORE.9:36 PM

*2K6

wow. 2006. a year passed by fast. a year filled with happiness and sadness. in the end, great things happened and miserable shit came up. fucking hell, it's time to make way for the new year.

frequent visitors, i may not update for awhile as i'm remaking my skin. but do check back soon, as i think it will be done in a short while. but i have to consider school and shit. hah. i'll do it in my free time.

the memorable things that happened in 2005:

- the forming of Obscure Phionix.
- Obscure Phionix's debut performance.
- Freakinly Mine.
- Obscure Phionix's rise in skills.
- the performance at The Substation.
- making new friends.

there's more. but let me think first. heh. now until next time.

insanely yours,
Qhai

together in 2006.

I want you to know that,
I miss you,
I miss you so...

GORE.9:31 AM