BEFORE; AFTER EFFECT.

want to see the before and after of my holy hair? haha. here it is. for the enjoyment of everyone i know.

BEFORE


url: http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/6381/pictures08122006008vm3.jpg

AND AFTER


url: http://img476.imageshack.us/img476/8996/picturesvivovz9.jpg

ok there. so until i book out. goodbye.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

GORE.12:04 AM

EVE; LAST NIGHT FOR ME.

My last days of teenhood. Enter my days of adulthood. They say National Service will change every male. I'm going to find out soon. Very soon. I'm going to miss everyone. My family, my band, my scenemates and my trusted friends. I expect most of them so sms me. SO DO IT. Haha. I'm going leave home at 8am tomorrow. Somewhere there i guess. Need to reach Pasir Ris before 10am to get to the bus service that'll take me to Tekong Jetty. Oh well, there will be somekind of talk or whatever over there.

I'm going to meet the band tonight. At Vivo City. Somehow i get the chills that they're going to sabotage me or something. I'm seriously going to miss the band a whole lot. We've put our sweat and blood into this band and i won't sure as hell back out from the brotherhood of Obscure Phionix. They're the best thing that happened to me and i'm going to keep them. Currently at the fourth chapter of our books. And we're almost 2 years old. How cool is that?

I'm going to have to say goodbye to my holy hair. After more than 6 months i've kept it. It's already at the length of my shoulders. My holy beard will be gone too. And i had to go into NS just as i gotten the Final Fantasy XII game.

To my family: I'm going to miss everyone. I love you no matter how messed up things can get. Haha.

To freakinlyMINE: I'm going to miss you. Very much. I hope that my ring will be around your neck always. I love you. Don't go do anything bad, ok.

To Obscure Phionix: Man, Meow, Shah. My second family. I'm going to think of the three of you everyday. The thoughts of the sounds of the music we've made will keep me insane. OPX, take care of yourself. Keep rocking. We'll be back in the scene soon. Don't ever give up on the dreams we've shared together.

To Death By Clowns: Guys, continue jamming alright. I'm just not going to be there. It doesn't mean the DBC is going to grow apart. You all have your own time. Do what's best for DBC.

To my scenemates: I'm going to miss all of you. The family bands - Shadows Embrace, Dead Since 13, Sounds Of Saviour, Someone Murdered Cupid, 2Eleven. Plus the other bands - Prince Isobelle, A Stale Melodrama, Sanity Blur, Every Rage I Seek, Jennifer Deathwish, Mulysa, this list can go on and on. Keep rocking. Forget me not.

To my brothers: Hafiz, Yazid, Khair. Good luck in whatever you do. I'm sure things will turn out just fine. Memories of me will be in you, yes? Haha.

To my besties: Aniqah, Ruz. Take care of yourself. Promise me that you'll sms me once in a while ok. I'll always have you in my memories.

To the rest of you: Remember me. I will always remember all of you. No matter what.

I won't know what will happen to me in NS. So i hope all of you will be praying for me as i am praying for you. Love you all.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

GORE.10:03 AM

5 DAYS LEFT; MY LAST SERENADE.

before i start posting my crap. here's one entry all of you should read.

taken from freakinlyMINE's blog (constraintswithin.blogspot.com):

"

(Before you read this,just bear in mind that I typed this post while sobbing..)
And yes,this might shock you guys.Whenever I think of the situation that Im in right now,I just feel it isnt right. It feels shitty and stuff.
After having spent almost a year and two months with the boyfriend,I am stuck with another guy.It stinks,it seriously does.After having spent a blissful time with him,suddenly someone just comes to me,literally that is.Oh my God!Can somebody tell me what to do?Please.I love Qhai and all,but i just cant seem to let go of HIM.Yes,the mysterious guy whom I will classify as superbly cute with that voice that makes me shiver each time I speak to him on the phone.
I just cannot let go of him.I think of him at every single moment.Crush or fling?URGH.IM DEAD MEAT.It seems unfair to Qhai.He loves me,a lot.And by falling for someone just doesnt seem right you know?

Shiffa,do you know that you're putting yourself in a warzone?And the ball is is your court.You have to do something about it.

I told myself before,I'd never risk getting into a relationship anymore.Why?Because Im scared of the occurence of another Love Triangle.It just sucks you know.Qhai knows about it.And he,is dead sad.Shattered.I love Qhai.So much.And i cant bear to see him all sad and unhappy,afterall we've been through.Yet,i just couldnt let go of the other guy.

Qhai told me,if i were to like someone else,its up to me to make my own decision.I am not his wife and I am free to make my own decisions.Yes,he will be sad and angry,yet,he has to respect my decision.And his reason is because,he loves me.I broke down when he said that.And I still am now.He told me,NS will be another reason which might lead to our break up.With him tired and cranky,its possible for us to have a fight.That is understandable though.However,there is another thing that he said.
*Conversation of what Qhai said last Night during our phone call -
"Sayang,if we were to break up,and you want to come back to me.I'll always welcome you with open arms." He said it so soft and gently,yet again,i broke down.Those are the exact words that he said.

Oh God,help me.Am I always destined to go through this each time Im in a relationship?I feel sad.Very sad.

I guess,I'll just let time decide it for me.But please,tell me what I should do.Its draining me out,emotionally.

"

So to all of you who thinks my life is a smooth ride. You must be joking. I learnt one thing in my life is not to show sadness or anger in front of anyone. You do that and you'll affect EVERYONE around you. Trust me. This happens alot. Smile, smile, smile always.

Now, the highlight. Christmas Core. The gig was great i tell you. Putting aside the hiccups we got on stage, overall performance ended with positive comments from scenemates and fans. I was glad all of them liked our Original. All the bands were great. This is our last gig with Hafiz and our last gig of the year. We're still searching for a new bassist. Auditions starting end of December. We'll be performing again most probably June next year. After my POP, i guess. Christmas Core was my last serenade for all of you until June.

I going to miss everyone. Be sure of that. Remember me well. I will face the worst of every Singaporean male's life. National Service. I love all of you.

insanely yours,
Qhai.
Soon to be NS-man.

GORE.10:22 AM

8 DAYS COMING; DAY OF THE INEVITABLE.

Today's the first of december. Next saturday, i'll be at Tekong marching. The day of the inevitable is coming. Of course, i'll not be going alone. Tekong will be filled with familiar faces like Faizal, Hafiz and Joes. What i hope is not having the same platoon as them! It'll be chaos. National Service will bring about the tests of everlasting brotherhood and friendships. I'll be without any of the people i know now for a while. The fears of NS, will come with life lessons.

Tonight will be the last gig of the year for Obscure Phionix. Due to my NS, we will not be performing until June next year. Also, tonight, Hafiz will be leaving the band to concentrate on his career and family life. Obscure Phionix's history has been a rough one. From the struggles of starting frm scratch, to the leaving of Yazid and now, the leaving of Hafiz. We will be searching for a new bassist. And now OPX (Obscure Phionix in short) have chosen to be a progressive/melodic/death/trash/core metal band. Our skills will be tested. And improved.

I have to say, i've made lots of friends at Habbo. As Ruz, Ifah, Adeq Ika, Irah, Fizz, Era, Maz and Appey. And most of them listen to a little bit of metal.

True that the metal industry is rising in Singapore. But does this means the posuers will be taking most of the metal community? No. We know where the true metalheads are. We know where to find them. Label me not. I just love metal more than other genres.

To all:
Forget me not,
For i'll only be gone shortly,
The last night for us,
Will not taint our friendships,
Shall you turn your back on me,
Will i ask in turn,
"Are you my friend or are you my enemy?",
Shall you answer "friend",
For then i will take your hand,
And bring you to a safer place,
Where our friendships will be sealed forever.

freakinlyMINE, i love you.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

GORE.10:30 AM