LAST MINUTE; CHANGE OF STYLE.

Coalesce gig was great. It was boring at first but after Intrigued played it got better. I was surprised that during out set alot of people were standing and looking at us. My first shaven head performance and Qader's first. Reunited with Yazid, Faizal, Djas, Shafiee and Kak Aisah. A great gig in all. First steps to Obscure Phionix's future.

So, the day started with my main objective of getting a new pair of glasses. Told dad i could not come over and left with mama to Queensway Shopping Center to get those glasses and contacts. My degree went up. No surprises there.

So while waiting for those glasses to finish, mama and i went to VivoCity. Bought some doughnuts before heading to Secret Recipe for a late breakfast/lunch. While eating Irish Lamb Shank (magnifique), i sms-ed Ruz. Ask what she was doing. Guess what, she said she was heading over to VivoCity. So, we decided to "bump" into each other. As i was waiting for her to arrive. Mama and i checked out the wear at Samuel & Kevin. Since she said i needed a change of style, since my waist size dropped from 40 to 34!. No more baggy stuff, now grungy/metalhead/laid back statement going on. Got a greyish-blue windbreaker and a denim jacket. Coolness. After that, went to I.P.Zone (or is that LP.Zone?) Whatever. Got two long sleeved shirts. Thanks ma.

After that trip, went to Ben & Jerry's for some ice-cream. Yummeh. Expensive but delicious. Walked and walked. I told Ruz i won't leave until i've seen her. So i did. As i walked, saw her. Eyes met, smiles exchanged. She made my day with her smile. Thanks hun.

After that went back to Queensway Shopping Center to pickup the glasses and contacts. Went home. Folded my smart 4 uniform. And getting ready to go out. Oh, fuck NS. Ruined social status.

I love my beasties. =).

insanely yours,
Qhai.

GORE.4:37 PM

LOST; NEVER FELT THIS FOR SO LONG.

Yes, there seems to be a hole in me. I've never felt this kind of intense restlessness for so long. I want to go out and blow off some steam over the drama that's happened. But, no one is able to tag along. I've always wondered: I am the confidant to people, but who's out there for me to confide in. This is of course other than Mama and Uncle Jazz. A person who understands me, a person with the same beliefs as me, a person with the same enthusiasm in music as me and a person around my age range. No, this won't do. Complaining does not help. My problems are to be solved on my own by my own hands. Seven times i've gone through it and this will be the eighth. Stand upright. Stand strong, Qhairul Fadzlie. The strength of The Beast is in you. And thus, you shall be known as The Beast for as long as you live.

"My heart remains the same but my emptiness increases."

I reunited with my scenemates last Saturday after a great jamming session. Fiz was there as well. Shadows Embrace, Tsue, Ixe Mulysa, Joey Prince Isobelle, Aji Sounds Of Saviour, Fad Sounds Of Saviour, Siddique, Ihsan, DeeDee Someone Murdered Cupid, Dead Since 13 and others. Too many people to mention. Yet, these people are not the one so close to me. But, to see them once again was a delight. Somehow when i reached Gas Haus i was expecting people to come to me and greet me. The result was they did not even recognise me. Who would? Tanned skin, shaven head and baggy pants.

"Insanity, lunacy, broken hearts: they're all the same to me."

Emptiness. This is the feeling of emptiness. Like the sound of an empty fridge. It bothers me. Very much. I miss the time where a friend could follow me out. The time where i would hang out with the people i love. Those times are gone. As Ruz said, "NS is a life-ruiner." She was right. The evidence is all here.

"Where are you, my fallen angels?"

I shall post this image every time i blog until the time of the event comes.



insanely yours,
Qhai.

GORE.11:36 AM

THE RETURN; OBSCURE PHIONIX IS BACK.

OBSCURE PHIONIX RETURNS!

Obscure Phionix returns to the scene with a gig at Dover ITE, the place where the band was born. Coalesce Gig is an event for charity. So we hope YOU will come and support us. Welcoming our new bassist, Qader, into the band and the reformation of Obscure Phionix as a progressive-melodic-death-trash-core metal band. We're selling tickets at S$6.

COALESCE GIG.
Date: 24th February 2007.
Time: 5pm.
Venue: Dover ITE.

insanely yours,
Qhai.
Obscure Phionix.

(taken from http://obscurephionix.blogspot.com)

GORE.10:29 PM

AS LONG AS SHE'S HAPPY; I AM TOO.

So our 16th month will be our last month together. As of 120207 @ 2210hrs, Shif and i are no longer attached. Don't ask me why, don't ask me what happened. Only she and i will know. So there. Let me end here. Enjoy the videos.



Atreyu
The Theft
He bends and he breaks
If you give they will take away
His passion, his pain, his grace
He exhales
A thousand black flowers explode
Into butterflies as they're away
Rip them out, take them
Burn to coals as they crush him
Leave nothing that resembles a soul of a man
(See him numb, see him crushed)
See him numb, see him crushed
Rip them out, take them
Burn to coals as they crush him
Leave nothing that resembles a soul of a man
(Leave him numb, leave him crushed)
Leave him numb, leave him crushed
Took the fire inside
One too many times
He's burning over and out now
He fails
Up against the raging tides
No more fights
Everything you ever wanted to see
See it in his eyes
One more time, one more time
Climb down to test the waters,
My hands feel like they're rusting away yeah
So I'll pace around like a lamb before the slaughter
I'll stay here as long as you let me
Decisions been made obvious so I will return
Where I started I'll stay there
Unfinished, I'll wither away
Rip them out, take them
Burn to coals as they crush him
Leave nothing that resembles a soul of a man
(See him numb, see him crushed)
See him numb, see him crushed
Rip them out, take them
Burn to coals as they crush him
Leave nothing that resembles a soul of a man
(Leave him numb, leave him crushed)
Leave him numb, leave him crushed



X-Japan
Unfinished
Oh, I'm looking at you, can't control myself
Nothing but pain for me
Wipe your tears, from your eyes
Just leave and forget me
No need to be hurt anymore
Go away from me now
I don't know, what is love?
No need to be hurt anymore
You said "I miss you so much."
Every night, thinking of you, and facing loneliness
But when you feel sadness, never can I stay with you
I'm not the one you need
Close your eyes and forget me
There's nothing I can do anymore
I've lost my way
I've been walking in the night of tears
There, I found someone was holding you
As the night was all falling down
With my love also vanished my vision of you
My heart is cold now
Wipe your tears, from your eyes
Just leave, and forget me
No need to be hurt, anymore
Everyday, thinking of you, and living in loneliness
But when you feel sadness, never can I stay with you
Go away from me now
I don't know, what is love?
No need to be hurt, anymore
Can't find my way

insanely yours,
Qhai.

GORE.4:29 PM

ATT C; SICKNESS.

I've been given the status Att C. Why? My temperature is 38.0c, my throat is red, my nose is blocked and my cough resembles a barking dog. So, i'm at home resting my ass off. And...i have to get onboard the fastcraft to Tekong at 7.30am. Oh, how quaint. That means i must wake up at 4.30am, take a taxi at 6am in order to reach on time. Any later, i'll be considered A.W.O.L. That will never happen. Grrt. My clean sheet record of not reporting sick is gone. If i didn't report sick, the guys will kick my ass. Haha. So much for bunkmates.

So, other than that. I guess there's not much to talk about. Oh yeah, last Sunday had jamming at Beats Merchant from 9am-11am. Then went to Beach Road to have lunch, then back to Bugis to meet Shif and meet the guys of Shadows Embrace, Dead Since 13 and Jennifer Deathwish for awhile. Well, rumours are Obscure Phionix are making a comback. Up to you to think about it. Hah.

Until next time.

insanely yours,
Qhai.

GORE.9:05 AM